pyrotechnics.

the 4th of july is my favorite holiday. im not sure if its because i never forget the date or if its because i enjoy fireworks. it may be a combination of both. im really not sure. ill tell you what I do know though. i know i severely detest those people who encourage fireworks with cheering. this is not a sporting event, there is no cheering necessary. somebody please arrest these people. they are ruining the show. and frankly, its pissing me off.

the fireworks will not do better or score any game winning points because of a few “woooo’s” or “oh yeah’s”. you cannot sit around with some beers reminiscing about that time back in ’96 when the fireworks really lit up the sky and you really feel like your support made all the difference. the Super Bowl, the Stanley Cup, and March Madness i can see how a person may feel that they made an impact on how the guys performed. but fireworks? at least cheer on the poor schmo who has to light that stuff on fire. if anything, he deserves some credit.

and even if they have to cheer, why is it always that person im embarrassed to share my air with? maybe if we deprive him of some good clean air, that son of a bitch will shut the fuck up. but perhaps i am too harsh. sure he deserves air, but cant we filter it so that he only gets secondhand air? that would make me happy. im not asking for much, really.

i can see him now. actually the sneaky little bastard comes in various versions. there is the fat one. i mean, overweight, sorry. its all the same really. if your belly hangs over your jeans, you’re a fat ass. just go buy a bigger size. at least then people would say “aww, well at least he knows how to make the best of what hes got” or “at least she knows how to dress for her body type”. these are the people who can never seem to get a tan, only a sunburn. they drink natural light and actually enjoy eating barbeque. and lucky for me, they always find themselves a nice spot in front of me every bloody 4th of july. and accompanying them is usually a pair of the dirtiest little kids you have ever seen. The boy can be found stepping on lizards and the girl will most likely have some kind of a lollipop stuck in her hair. strawberry.

and just when you would think thats bad enough theres always some cocky bastard whistling and cheering with his frat buddies. these are the guys who show up with some pretty girls who all think they are entirely too fat when we all know that they have a nonexistent profile view. this type of “american” will come to the festivities in a designer t-shirt that is most likely plain white, blue jeans, and red lipstick on his cheek from one of the drunk chicks whose name he probably doesnt even care to know.

the list goes on.

this year i decided i would like to celebrate my independence day with my friends in new york city. funny how the one city that is a complete hodge podge of cultures is what many people think of as the ultimate american city. so we went to watch the yankees lose to the red sox. i even had a hot dog. oh and i was wasted. perhaps it was the liquid blinders but i am incedibly relieved to have fully avoided the aforementioned idiots this 4th of july. well except for that one guy that was cheering from the rooftop party we went to after the game... what a douche.

*sigh* god bless america...