beach.

i decided to go to the beach this past weekend. please dont ask me why. i have no legit answer for you and i will be forced to trout-slap you if you pester me further. first of all, it took me 45 minutes to find a parking spot. do you know i live less than 1 mile from the beach? when i finally find a goddamn spot its in a lot thats being patrolled by pigs to make sure the 1 hr limit is strictly enforced. fine. thats all i need anyway.

i manage to find a relatively empty spot. as soon as i get there i remember why i hate the beach. i spend about 20 minutes per side before i start getting dizzy. i sip some water. at this point i feel like im going to begin to dry heave. i dont understand white people. this was one of the worst beach experiences of my life.

i got home, took off my bikini and looked in the mirror. i virtually switched ethinicities. it was just too much. i hopped in the shower and slathered on exfoliator. ha! take that uv rays!

thank god i was born brown colored.