match.

so im new to this whole blog thing and ive been asking around for some topics. i need material people! and thats when it hit me. idea! i joined match.com the other day and in the past 4 days i have amassed 3492 views. wait - 3493. goddamn people. and do you know what these characters have to say when they send you a message?

"great eyebrows!" - umm, thanks?

"can i interest you in an older man with a private jet, secluded island, and passion for buying shiny things?" - yeah...no.

"im looking for the love of my life. i really think it could be you and this is why..." - are you kidding me right now?

umm. wow. look people, dont message me. im a jerk. im only on this thing to gather fodder for my blog. so youd think maybe the weirdo factor would shy me away from some of these people. nope. anyway tonight i went out for a mini drink with someone. oh god. here we go...

i meet this one particular wack job at mizner park in boca. first of all - you do not look like your pictures. i mean, he did but maybe a lil heavier and more forehead. please kill me. anyway the first thing i say is "umm are you ok? why are you all bugged out?" and he simply says "i didnt take my adderall today" isnt that stuff for 10 yr olds that cant sit still? this guy was wigging out. his eyes were darting all over the place and then he has the cojones to tell me that he thinks im more of a friend. babe, are you kidding right now? i have been wanting to leave since i parked my car. so we painfully sit through some small talk and the worst mojito ive ever had when i think my brain is finally falling into a coma i say "alrighty i think its time to go" to which he replies... "so i dont think ill see you again". umm no shit.

at least he paid for the drinks.

i can tell this month will be full of entertaining situations.