lightspeed.

i hate spin class. up. down. up. down. make up your goddamn mind. that class makes my knees hurt so bad i wish someone would just kick the instructor in the face so we could get out early. the instructor, by the way, looks exactly like britney spears pre-fat ugly babies. wow. sorry, but her kids are not cute. and shes always talking about keeping up your lightspeed. what the hell does that even mean? if i could travel at lightspeed i sure as shit wouldn't be in this class.

after spin class, jamie and i venture out into the weight area. you've really gotta weave your way through the steroids and fake boobs to even manage a workout. and then right when you think you can peacefully push your way through a workout some socially inept meathead has to make comments about your form and that he likes when you bend over. first of all, you look like you fell asleep in the tanning bed. get a life. none of the girls in here are interested in you. so mind your own business and leave me alone. you have too much gel in your hair for the gym and youre wearing a baby tee. get real. la fitness has more douchebags per square foot than any other gym. i wonder how high the douche factor is at an la fitness in miami. holy moses - i cant even imagine.