gay.

why is it that so many straight guys think that there are so many things in life that will make them gay?

you're either gay. or you're not. you don't "turn gay" by holding a girl's purse, by sending flowers, or by watching a romantic comedy WITH a girl. let me now paint you a few pictures here...

scenario 1: purses. a guy and a girl are out on a dinner date. he looks handsome. she looks beautiful. do you want to know why? because each person took the time to put together a look. as a girl, i pick out my outfit and shoes... jewelry and purse. i spend time with my hair and makeup. i pick out a nice body cream and a pretty perfume. do you see what's happening here? i put in time to get ready. i picked out that purse because i want to be seen with it. if we are out and i ask you to hold my purse, there's a bloody reason. i don't want you to keep it all night. it's my goddamn purse. and why would someone think you are gay for holding my purse? do you really think they are thinking "i cant believe he brought his purse out with him"? if that is, in fact, what you think... you're a dumbass.

oh and if you still think it's gay to hold my purse on the off chance i even ask for your help in doing so... you can think again before you ask me to hold your wallet, keys, or phone.

scenario 2: flowers. do you know how magical flowers can be for you? do you know that flowers can fix almost anything? that's right, anything. all the stupid shit you do to piss a girl off... flowers can fix it. except for kicking her dog. that's not fixable.

who's going to think you're gay when you send a girl flowers and 900 people in her office are standing around saying "aww, you're so lucky!" ?? you know who? the one guy in the office that doesn't have a girl. and there is a reason for that.

and fyi - flowers does not mean roses. flowers can be anything. roses, tulips, snapdragons, daisies, hyacinth, sunflowers, peonies. it can be 1. it can be 100. it doesn't matter.

scenario 3: romantic comedies. perhaps you're walking the aisles of blockbuster. or perhaps you are at the movies. who in their right mind is going to think you picked a romantic comedy? of course the girl you are with is choosing to see that type of movie. do you understand that concept? you are with a female. how does that make you gay?!

sigh. guys are so gay.