morewillie.

do you know anyone that is super creative? not a kook... but geniunely creative. i have this friend who is so funny and so creative i feel like i need to advertise him. the only thing he does that is probably not cool is that sometimes he goes to get cupcakes without telling you and then he eats them all and tweets about it. but he also likes john mayer and pita pit so i guess he is not so bad.

his name is willie morris. that's his real name. i swear. and he's like the 3rd or 4th willie. crazy.

anyway you should check out how clever he is at www.morewillie.com

you want him to write you an article? done. you want him to spiff up your website? done. you want him to play photographer? done. and here is a little proof... look at wonderful pictures he took of me! i mean come on!

follower.

so i finally logged into my blog today after a short absence. well, a long absence with one random visit... and i see that i have a follower! weee! this is all wonderful and exciting. i have one follower! one. so i decide to publish on my page, my list of followers. well, follower. and when i go to refresh the page... nada. my one lemming doesn't even appear on the page! how sad is that?

maybe i need a blog challenge in order to garner more support. more lemmings. like julie and julia. except i don't want to cook all the crap in that old bat's book. i could blog about my travels. or about my dates. well, lack of dates.

someone give me an idea. follower? maybe you can help!

gay.

why is it that so many straight guys think that there are so many things in life that will make them gay?

you're either gay. or you're not. you don't "turn gay" by holding a girl's purse, by sending flowers, or by watching a romantic comedy WITH a girl. let me now paint you a few pictures here...

scenario 1: purses. a guy and a girl are out on a dinner date. he looks handsome. she looks beautiful. do you want to know why? because each person took the time to put together a look. as a girl, i pick out my outfit and shoes... jewelry and purse. i spend time with my hair and makeup. i pick out a nice body cream and a pretty perfume. do you see what's happening here? i put in time to get ready. i picked out that purse because i want to be seen with it. if we are out and i ask you to hold my purse, there's a bloody reason. i don't want you to keep it all night. it's my goddamn purse. and why would someone think you are gay for holding my purse? do you really think they are thinking "i cant believe he brought his purse out with him"? if that is, in fact, what you think... you're a dumbass.

oh and if you still think it's gay to hold my purse on the off chance i even ask for your help in doing so... you can think again before you ask me to hold your wallet, keys, or phone.

scenario 2: flowers. do you know how magical flowers can be for you? do you know that flowers can fix almost anything? that's right, anything. all the stupid shit you do to piss a girl off... flowers can fix it. except for kicking her dog. that's not fixable.

who's going to think you're gay when you send a girl flowers and 900 people in her office are standing around saying "aww, you're so lucky!" ?? you know who? the one guy in the office that doesn't have a girl. and there is a reason for that.

and fyi - flowers does not mean roses. flowers can be anything. roses, tulips, snapdragons, daisies, hyacinth, sunflowers, peonies. it can be 1. it can be 100. it doesn't matter.

scenario 3: romantic comedies. perhaps you're walking the aisles of blockbuster. or perhaps you are at the movies. who in their right mind is going to think you picked a romantic comedy? of course the girl you are with is choosing to see that type of movie. do you understand that concept? you are with a female. how does that make you gay?!

sigh. guys are so gay.