resurrection.

clearly, it's been a while. last post was sometime this past spring-ish. and now i am back by popular demand (justin and willie). so a lot has transpired over the last half of the year. here's the unofficial cliffs notes:

- went to amsterdam and didn't smoke weed
- went to belgium and didn't drink beer
- spent an endless amount of time in new york city
- saw pitbull in concert
- saw ray lamontagne in concert
- bought sweet over the knee stiletto boots
- got over my hatred for peep toe shabooties and now proudly own a pair (or 4)
- figured out how to layer
- perfected my ridiculously awesome recipe for homemade key lime pie
- embraced my twitter account (@flirtyfloridian)
- got weed blown in my face and ended up on tfln.com
- the gators are heading into the sec championship game this saturday against bama (again)
- hopping across the pond to london next week
- following up with a week in paris
- new year's eve... taylor comes to miami (crossing my fingers)

and of course in between these events there were numerous occasions during which i was asked if i am brazilian.

the answer is still no. or não if you insist on being an ass.

stay tuned people, i'm excited to update this crap.

305.

so i went to my first heat game this past weekend. heat vs hawks - playoff game 3. nice! the seats were great(on top of the arena - but great), the company was great, the game was great. everything was great until the 2nd quarter when pitbull's mini me showed up and sat in the seat right next to me. where is the hand sanitizer when you need it??

this guy was wearing a white heat jersey (side note: i'm sorry boys, basketball jerseys on non basketball players are just plain unattractive) - umm, newsflash buddy, the miami heat asked for all fans to wear black and even went so far as to hand out free shirts when you got there. dipshit.

he was also wearing sunglasses. on his face. during the entire game. this is not street ball. there is no glare reflecting off the blacktop. we are indoors. someone please tell me who decided this was cool. everyone knows that you make fun of people who wear their sunglasses indoors or at night. so why would you wear them to a freaking indoor basketball game that also happens to be at night?? retard.

and although he did start the evening next to me, he continued to move to any empty seat he could find and start talking to whoever was next to him. god help the group of asians he was with during the 4th quarter. when this seat hopping charade began - a woman next to me asked him where his seat was... to which he replied "oh yeah, you know i'm right behind the heat bench yo. yo yo yo blah blah blah i have no class..." you expect me to believe you pretty much had court side seats and now you are in row 900? riiight...

and he was covered in tattoos. hey if that's your thing - to each his own. but having an area code (among other things) inked onto your arm? why, in case you forget and need to phone home? how lame are you? please note the aforementioned tattoo on his right arm. gay.

i just wanted to pull him aside and clue him in on how big of a douche he appeared to be. you are spilling beer on people and screaming louder than the 6 year olds behind me who are hopped up on cotton candy and soda. and stop yelling "did you see that?!" in people's faces. what in the hell do you think i came here for? to eat ice cream and talk about gossip girl? maybe a game of scrabble? idiot. of course i saw that you dumbass - i'm at a basketball game. but who knows, maybe on any other day he is actually somewhat intelligent and charming. haha. no.

if this guy had any chance of having an education i could only guess that he went to miami dade community college. or university of miami if i'm going to be generous. (can't spell dump/scum without um!)

and for christ's sake, get a razor. you are not hugh jackman, colin farrell, or paul walker. you cannot pull off the sexy scruffy look.

seriously, i wonder how many diseases this kid has.


btw - the heat won. 107 - 78.

texting.

this is the funniest website of my life:

www.textsfromlastnight.com

once you get through them all you click the area code label links for even more silly nonsense. archived texts on the right. i love it.

some of my favs:

(619): i miss you so much
(858): i miss you too
(858): oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
_________________________________

(615): yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
(702): Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
__________________________________

(786): Thats something to write home to mom about
(305): Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
_________________________________

(301): I'm sorry my penis didn't work
__________________________________

(504): dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
(985): doesn't he have a girlfriend???
(504): yeah...who do you think woke us up...
__________________________________

(260): So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
(1-260): Are your eyes okay
(260): I mean if I was Asian they would be
__________________________________

(213) 2:19a: Whats up
(424): Asleep
(213): Miss you... Wondering how you are..
(424): ASLEEP
(213): Just wanted to say hi, see how school's going
(424): Hi, awesome, now fuck offf

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

ideeli.

obsessed with this website. it's invite only so click the link below. go. join. buy.

http://www.ideeli.com/invite/vanitaaswani

subway.

so sometimes when you're in the city you've got to rely a bit on public transport. it's not as "sex and the city" here as you might want to believe. i know... i was shocked the first time i realized that too. there should be a support group for this.

i was on the subway yesterday and i really wanted to sit down. i had 35 blocks or so to go. but before resting my tired feet i did a quick size up of who was already seated. a lil tip I picked up (thanks brian) is that this is new york city. there are way more people riding the trains than there are seats so if there is a seat left empty there's probably a good reason for that.

i subtly looked at the people sitting next to the empty spots and now i knew why such a primo location on the c train was left vacant. there was a man who was probably around 28 or 29 dressed in all black with a long thick pony tail and lots of silver jewelry. i'm talking chains, skull rings, multiple bracelets etc. he was a mess. as i move down to the center of the train he turns toward me and blows me a kiss. i threw up a lil in my mouth then and again just now as i am writing this. but i turned my face so that i wouldn't have to be visually assaulted. and that's when i saw a sweet girl make the mistake of sitting down next to him.

i could watch what was going on in the reflection of the subway car's window. unknowingly she smiled when he said hi. she must not be from here. i looked away for a bit because my lunch was coming up. when i did get back to my subway vouyerism i saw that this man had now taken the liberty to push this girl's hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. holy crap. she looked horrified. i looked horrified! and i am fully confident that she did not know him. how weird. a few stops later she got up and walked to the other end of the car to get off. and that's when he got up and went in the same direction as her. creepy mc creepster.

taxi!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

twitter.

how is it that twitter has expanded to become a micro-blogging cult? it's basically the status application from facebook expanded. but you don't see people updating their facebook every 15 minutes as they are doing with the twit. well...maybe some people.

and what makes one person more interesting to follow than the next? i mean right now, ashton kutcher is challenging cnn that he can reach 1 million follwers before cnn can. are you serious? have you even read ashton's tweeting? it's so random! how does he even find the time to tweet as much as he does?! the sheer volume of tweets he has posted in the past 24 hrs is baffling. or even demi - how on earth do these people tweet so often? the thing that amazes me the most is that they even reply people who tweet at them. unlike myspace and facebook, i think twitter allows you to connect a bit of realism to the celebrity or whoever that you may be slightly obsessed with. kall me krazy but i really believe that kim kardashian is tweeting on the kim kardashian page. i love her. maybe thats why i want to believe it's really truly her. but again, with the tv appearances, reggie bush, Keeping Up, and everything else - HOW DOES SHE FIND TIME TO FREAKIN TWEET??

and keep in mind all moat people do is enter random status updates. im in the loo. im going out. i had peas for lunch. well, not me. if you want to know my opinions on anything beauty related whether it's bath, body, skincare, fragrance, etc just tweet at me or follow me at www.twitter.com/flirtyfloridian and get a daily tweet tweet from me!

test.

well well... it's been a long time.

remember when I said I want to blog from my bb? I think i've figured it out.

this is only a test. If this had been a real entry it would have contained something witty.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

sandwich.

so as you've probably noticed (thank you loyal blog reader, jacqueline) i haven't been posting lately. I've been traveling a lot for work and i don't really tote my laptop around. but i am looking into being able to blog off my blackberry.

on a recent trip to new york i was was approached with quite possibly the strangest simple question ever.

as i'm getting onto the plane and into the main aisle, i find my row and the elderly woman in the aisle seat kindly moves so that i can settle into my inviting window seat. people keep boarding but this woman remains standing. she turns to me only to say "i hope nobody sits here," to which i smile kindly and agree. her response? "i don't really like people... i mean you're fine but i don't like sitting by people." umm... ok well thank god you didn't get the middle seat. lucky for friendly fran nobody joins us in our row.

as you know, meals are no longer served on airlines. if you look around the cabin, you notice some people may bring a sandwich, some chips or cookies, etc. my new friend visited her local subway prior to this flight. her sandwich is nestled into the middle seat. "i brought a sandwich... i don't mind sharing if you're hungry." right... "oh, thank you but i'm ok." i decided to take out my book, nintendo ds, and ipod all at the same time in an effort to keep her from talking to me again.

as soon as the cabin begins to pressurize, she puts down her tray table and grabs her sandwich. it seems she asked for each component of her sandwich to be packed separately, including the very potent dressing. so she starts piecing together her sandwich making sure to touch the bread, cheese, turkey, lettuce, tomato, etc with her creepy, wrinkly, old lady hands. and of course she tops it off with some kind of italian vinaigrette. this smell explodes in the cabin. its in my nose, my eyes, my hair, its probably burning into my clothes. she looks very proud of herself and her new sandwich. she takes a bite... and then out of nowhere thrusts the sandwich with spittle bubbles about 2 and a half inches from my face and says "you want some??"

oh.
my.
god.

spirit.

i just came back from a mini vacation in chicago. it was great. the airline i flew on, however, was not.

spirit is the worst airline known to man. and i say this after having experienced the other worst airline known to man - air india. seriously, i don't understand how any company can be as horrific as either of these two.

spirit's $9 flights are a load of crap. you have to join some kind of spirit membership group that has a fee. thank god i didn't do that. who would fly on this shitty airline more than once? i almost don't want to submit this post as i am ashamed to ever have even flown on spirit (sorry boca).

so let's see... i am booking my ticket. flat fee, taxes... ok fair. 15 bucks for a bag? each way?? ok well its winter so i have to take a bag so i can pack sweaters. ok seat assignment... wtf? you want me to pay to pick a seat? what the hell is my ticket price for then? do i have to pay for a seatbelt too?

after i manage to go through with booking my flight they emailed me to let me know that they rescheduled my 4 pm return flight. really? how is that ok? if i wanted to leave chicago at 640 pm i would have picked the 640 pm departure. but oh wait... you only have 2 flights to ft lauderdale a day. when i call to complain about the time change i am told they can put me on the other flight (6 am) free of charge... oh wow, how generous.

but fine - i get to chicago safely-ish. i have a great 4 days and now i'm heading home. i get to the airport at 615 for a 720 flight that was delayed from 640. but i am told my bag "may not make it home with me" because i missed the luggage cut off for the flight's original departure time. after pleading with the moron at the desk i'm told that they will "try to get my bag on but it is not likely". and when i get to the gate the plane hasn't even arrived so how am i LATE for luggage?! assholes. when we do finally board i am sitting in the filthiest seat of my life. crumbled butterfingers in my chair, on the ground, in the aisle... weird 1970's child molester to my left and thumper in front of me. this guy banged his chair into my knee for the entire flight. oh and my favorite part was the very annoying man writing me notes on the vomit bag. now that's how you pick up a girl for real!

my luggage made it. my sanity did not. eff you spirit.

inspiration.

so i recently read a book called "bitter is the new black" by jen lancaster. it's bitchy and it takes place in chicago. now i know there is a god.

seriously if this is a true story i don't know how it couldn't also happen to me. this girl gets laid off (ok i can skip over that part) and is unemployed for 2 years (ill skip this too) and then gets a book deal eventually because she's a blogging genius. umm... hello out there... i am a blogging genius too! sure i haven't blogged in a few months but i am back. in fact, i might even blog a little tonight. or i might goto sleep - i'm not sure yet.